50 ways to die in East Africa

Our guide Albert’s most important job:
Protection from the Top 50 ways to die in East Africa

1)   Eaten by lion

2)   Killed by Lion, eaten by Hyena

3)   Pecked to death by a mating Ostrich

4)   Gored by Cape Buffalo

5)   Chomped by a hippo as you try for that macro shot of his wiggling ears

6)   Run over by stampeding wildebeests

7)   Carried off to a tree by a Leopard

8)   Volcanic eruption

9)   CO2 asphyxiation in an ancient Caldera

10) Hit by car while walking and looking the wrong way (almost happened to me – luckily the car swerved to avoid vehicle damage)

11)  Malaria

12) Choked to death on Malaria pills

13) words:  “African Sushi”

14)  Outsmarted (and then killed) by a Troop of Baboons

15)   Killed by vultures who misunderstood your nap on the Savannah

16) Smashed by collapsed scaffolding as you walk past

17) Drinking the water

18) Shot by park ranger (accidently)

19) Shot by park Ranger (intentionally)

20)  Flash flood

21)  Drought

22) Dehydration due to Maasai flies

23)  Frostbite in the hotel shower

24)   Electrocuted by power plug adapter

25)   Impaled on spear you bought from local villager

26) Smothered by primary school kids anxious to see their picture on the back of your camera

27)   Secondary school chemistry experiment

28)  Asteroid (could happen anywhere but seems more likely in Africa)

29)   Ebola

30) Yellow fever

31)  Tetanus

32)   HEP A

33)   HEP B

34)   Dengue Fever

35) Killed by natives after bad dancing

36)  Attacked after bad mouthing Barack Obama

37) Suicide after multiple, unsuccessful attempt to update your Facebook status

38)  Hit head on inside window of Safari car (while napping)

39)  Photographing a kingfisher (actually happened in Laky Manyara National Park – lady got out of the vehicle to get a better angle for her picture and Leopard got her – would make an exciting Darwin award entry)

40) Killed by fellow Safari-goer for singing “Pole, Pole” one too many times

41)  Tsetse fly bites

42)Mobbed by Natives trying to sell cheap souvenirs

43) Mistaken for goat in preparations for a Maasai welcome ceremony

44) Stepped on by an Elephant

45)Charged by a Rhino

46) Outrun by a Cheetah

47Dive bombed by a pair of fish eagles (while photographing hippos)

48) Freak Impala accident (Chevy Impala?)

49) Inhaling truck and auto exhaust

50)  Old age


3 thoughts on “50 ways to die in East Africa

  1. Darlene Yazzie says:

    Mike, thanks for doing this blog; it was wonderful reading about your trip toAfrica. very emotional, indeed! Thanks for sharing.

  2. Ronnie Shepherd says:

    Wow Mike. I had no idea you were so adventurous!! The trip looks incredible. The photos are extraordinary. As others have stated, thanks for sharing your experience with us. You truly are a man of many talents (first you tell me you were a music major, now this!).

    All the best !!

  3. Kristin says:

    Awesome detais about your challenges, rewards and adventures of the Dark Continent! It was a pleasure and insightful way to travel electronicall to Africa! Thanks for posting, the photos were wonderful!

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